Posted on

Acceptance & Recovery; Why ‘Moving on’ is a Myth…

Many of you will be taking the summer off, or at least hoping for a little ‘down-time’ so, in the spirit of you not receiving ‘work’ emails, I’m focusing more on the grown-ups for this blog.
 
The wellbeing of staff is finally part of the same debate as young people’s wellbeing, and so it should be; Recovery belongs to everybody. 
One major aspect of recovery is ‘acceptance’. Acceptance is acknowledged as a stage of grief, and we don’t need bereavement to be left with grief. We need acceptance for what we’ve lost, what we’ve missed, of what’s changed… 
There is so much to say on this subject, but I’m wrapping up these into three main points.

It’s uncomfortable and it’s ok

Sitting with uncomfortable feelings may not come naturally, but this is how we arrive at acceptance. Other people may try talking you out of those feelings (even more difficult than our own discomfort is somebody else’s), but none of us have a duty to the world to be permanently joyful.
Be with your thoughts & you feelings if you need to be.

There is no time limit 
Where do we acquire this expectation that we should ‘get over things’, ‘deal with it’, ‘move on’ within a set window of time? There is no such thing as ‘moving on’. We ‘move through’, and that journey; through loss, lack of resolve, frustration, anger, sadness-whatever it is-is unique to you. And so is the time that takes. And finally… 

Acceptance does not mean ‘the end’
Acceptance is a destination, but it’s not necessarily final. It’s normal to arrive at acceptance one day, and be transported somewhere else the next.
Amidst so much uncertainty, we may not achieve ‘closure’ for some time yet, so accept acceptance when it’s with you, accept lack of resolve when it’s not.